Last night, my partner and I picked up a flight crew to take them to a hospital. I'm pretty sure that they were a group of surgeons. It was a very confusing but easy transport, considering we usually have a patient with us. Instead, we had parts of our patient..or we soon would. This group had two containers. They looked like lunchbox igloos.

Once we dropped the team off into the operating room, they scrubbed up and left without saying much. After they walked off, I was so confused as to what to do for paperwork since we didn't have a patient. So... I asked around, and was lead off to the OR front desk. We waited around for someone to help us, then the door opened for another team. This team had a patient. An infant.. The mother and father of this child were both crying.

Right at that moment, the picture was clear. There was no longer a puzzle to be solved. My group of surgeons didn't have any organs in the containers...yet. They were going to take them from the infant. I watched as the parents said their final words to their baby.

I can't imagine how they felt. Knowing 100% that their baby was going to die. They made the choice. They wanted the baby to be a donor, just so that another could have a chance to live. Deep down inside, a little part of me died.

I was crushed.

But I had to move on. I wasn't even half-way done with my shift. I don't think I would ever want to be a pediatric surgeon.

We picked them up again. This time with the igloos filled with ice and organs. Had to rush them back to the airport Code 3. (emergency lights and sirens).. I don't think organs in an igloo would be able to last very long.

Ha. I hate when they page that out at work. It basically means "Hey. I think you're messing around. What are you doing? Call dispatch and tell them exactly what you're doing - or else we'll tell on you." Actually.. It doesn't really bug me too much.

Anyway. I've been working and going to school. I've somehow lost my passion for dance. It's somewhere in me. I just feel like I don't have enough time to actually find it again. I thought my partner was a huge douchebag. After I wrote about it, he fixed himself. I wrote to myself. Showed no one. :] Maybe he figured it out without me telling him. Maybe it was my body language.

My father is staying in Holy Cross hospital. He didn't have a heart attack. My guess is that it was angina. I'll go visit later today after school.

It's cold. I love it.

I went to Las Vegas this last week for my CGF's 21st birthday! Accrina turned 21. Drove to Tucson, then to Vegas, then back home. It was a blast.

Who's stalling? Who doesn't want to do homework?
Me.

Having sex with someone isn't my idea of an ice-breaker. Sorry, lady.

I find it sad that I have to make up an excuse to not have a vacation with my family. A "work" excuse. The simple truths are that I can't afford the Costa Rica trip. Maybe I can. But that would be all that I would be able to afford. I would have to not pay my bills for another month. Catching up with that would just take me forever.

Work was just an excuse! I didn't have to work during this week. I easily could have just PTO'd it.

Family.. I love every member of mine. I just don't love how my mother nags as much as she does. It's draining. Staying at home when she's home is almost just as emotionally draining as work. I see some bad things. Car accidents, heart attacks, strokes, blood and guts. A vacation with my mother would be extremely frustrating to me. Even moreso than work.

I'm probably speaking out of line..but I've had it. She made a blood pressure remark. Put the blame on me. I'm sick of this. I paid up over a couple hundred bucks...none of which I want back. I've made that clear. My mother keeps going on and on.. "sayang"... I hate that word. What a waste

This is probably disappointing to my family.

Maybe I'm saving my mom from having a CVA..I mean, from not going. We are the cause of each other's high blood pressure. It's funny - how it works for the both of us.

I'm trying to move out. Been looking for apartments with my ex-co-worker Nonn. He's a good guy. Dependable. Our goal: move out by the end of this month.

Work is going well. I always hate coming in for work.. but it's really not that bad. It's the easiest job I've ever had. Even the paperwork isn't so bad. I've gotten the routine down.

Romance.. I'm single again. I'm just getting back into dating. I've had a couple of nibbles. I'm not going to jump into anything again. It's time to build friendships.